DAY 7

Should this message reach anyone, I want them to know that it was my fault. All the others are dead - Carlson, Velasquez, Snoop, Hsung - and it's my fault. If I hadn't eaten that Signature Range macaroni they'd still be alive. We were right in macaroni territory... I should have known... I should have...

What more can I do to atone than to eat another variant of macaroni? By eating as many of those macaroni bastards as possible perhaps I can offer their souls some small recompense for my cutting short their sojourn on earth. 

I approached a small village on the outskirts of the macaroni capital. A sign on the village gate read "Macaroni with creamy cheese sauce & a light sprinkling of paprika". This place went by the name of Wattie's, and it would be here that I would finally show the macaroni people their place in the world. 

Heartless sons of bitches

Suspecting nothing, the chief of the village led me inside. In true hospitable macaroni style, they informed me that it would take 5 minutes for the village to prepare for the welcoming celebration. I waited eagerly with fork in hand...

The time has come. The villagers are rounded up in the village center, about to begin their welcoming festivities. I descend upon them like an avenging angel, impaling them upon my fork and shovelling them into my gaping maw. The streets of the once peaceful village run yellow with cheese sauce and the wails of the macaroni people are quickly smothered by the loud slurps as I pile them down my gullet. 

Shirtless, rent with wounds from weeks of combat, and smeared in my own blood mixed with cheese sauce I roar my defiance to the Gods above!

Final Verdict:

 As a microwave meal: 7.5/10

As an actual meal: 6/10