Day 2:
The worst of the snack attack is over. Another faction of macaroni approached our camp under the banner of "Signature Range". They came bearing a larger portion size for around the same price. "What is this?" one of our pluckier recruits asked.
"Macaroni cheese finished with a seasoned, cheese crumb".
With that, I removed the package from the box. Inside the plastic tray dish was a frozen puddle of beige matter, topped with crumbs, grated cheese and sprinkles of some unknown condiment. After thanking our new macaroni benefactors I hastened to the microwave to cook our new bounty.
5 minutes cooking, 1 minute standing then another 2 minutes cooking. Our boys grumbled a bit, as they were used to 5 minute cooking times, but we weren't in a position to be scrupulous.
The wait was tense. We kept expecting another snack attack but it never came. Jules nearly cracked under the pressure - I had to put a bullet in his skull before his madness spread to the others.
Finally, the long awaited klaxon signalled that the cooking was complete. The scent of ersatz cheese permeated the bunker. Nodding silently to our new-found macaroni friends I tucked into the meal they had generously constructed for us from their fallen brethren.
The macaronis were not quite al dente, but not as soft as those we had faced in the snack attack the day before. So this is how the Signature Rangers overcame their foe. The cheese sauce tastied cheesier, and the cheesey crumb crust on the top only added to the delight my tastebuds were now experiencing. One of the men fainted seeing me dine on those who had until recently been our enemy.
I finish this latest entry with hope in my heart. The Signature Rangers have shown me that for a similar price to the Snack Attack, I could have a larger amount of macaroni with a decidedly superior sauce and bite to it. We would repel the McCain's Snack Attack if it reared it's head again. With our newfound allies, it seemed anything was possible.
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