Here we are again with another exciting piece of infotainment that will surely get your tastebuds yodelling. Today I will be reviewing Dakshin's Butter Chicken with Rice (of course, microwaved).
"A snack-sized meal of tender chicken in a creamy tomato sauce, served with rice". 300g, slightly more generous than your average microwave dinner, and there's that word again - tender. We shall see.

Oh boy, doesn't this look delightful?

I had started the cooking process before I even began writing this entry, so I can't tell you what it looked like beforehand. I'll go out on a limb and say "not great". 5 minutes in the microwave, as per usual. How convenient that most microwave foods have a cooking time of exactly 5 minutes - the same number of digits on our hands.  

It smells repugnant, too sweet. The colour of the "meal" is a gradient from one end of the container to the other - white (rice), slightly orangey in the center, to rich toxic orange at the business end of the dish. I count 4 pieces of chicken, and a significant amount of meaty pulp which I'm guessing was also once chicken. It kind of looks like an orange threw up on catfood.

I tepidly take my first bite. The rice is mushy and waterlogged. The sauce itself is far too sweet - it's like someone mixed melted gummies into it. As for the chicken, "tender" was definitely a misnomer seeing as it has the consistency of a rubber eraser. Only two mouthfuls in and I'm ready to throw in the towel. But, alas, I am at work and there is no chance of me leaving to get another meal! Soldiering on...

Dear gods, this is one of the worst things I have had the misfortune of eating. Some of the chicken has grey bits in it, either veins or cancer or something, and it tastes of something I can't quite put my finger on. I wouldn't feed this to a starving ethiopian, let alone eat it as a convenient meal or snack. 

I haven't even finished this meal, I don't know if I am physically capable.

Final Verdict:

Spare a thought for my anus tomorrow.